But that day God had something to tell me

Every once in awhile the Lord meets in the most profound way.  

Oh, it's in those moments I wish time would stand still!  

Sometimes it's reading my bible, or seeing baby rabbits freely playing in my yard enjoying the coolness before the heat of the day comes. Perhaps it's a song on the radio or in a devotion I'm reading.  Or one of those mind-blowing, gorgeous Arizona sunsets with colors that only God could create!  I've talked to many of you, so I know I can't be crazy. Perhaps for you it's walking through Walmart or maybe it's ironing or folding that same shirt for the 4th time this week.  

Confession, I often  have my best conversations with God in the shower.  This is exactly what happened to me the other day.  I'm showering talking to God like I always do, but that day God had something to tell me about a certain scripture.  A scripture that I've heard and read so many times.  Here's the scripture:  

"For we (I) am God's creation,

created in Christ Jesus for good works,

which God prepared ahead of time

so that we (I) should walk in them."

Ephesians 2:10 HCSB

(paraphrase mine)

2014 has been an interesting year to say the least and to say it nicely.  I've been wrestling about some things with God.  Okay,  if I'm honest I've mainly been wrestling with myself.....anyone....anyone?  Sorry, back to my conversation with God and  Ephesians 2:10.

I am created by God in Christ Jesus, yep I believe that with every fiber of my being.  For good works, which God prepared ahead of time, so that I should walk in them.  For us(me) to walk in, did you catch that?  What does that look like to me and perhaps you?  

Since God created me, he knows that I am a simple person.  First of all it says good works, somehow in my mind its become the lie that if its not great well then I don't need to bother.  It simply plays out like this for me:

I take the first step honestly, that's quite often the scariest part.  

• I stand up for what I know is right at the risk of others misunderstanding or judging my heart and intentions. 
• I walk away from conversations that are not edifying.  
• I put back that dress I've convinced myself I need even though I don't have the money for it.
• I persevere instead of quitting for the hundredth time.
• I stay in a marriage that sometimes for the life of me I can't remember when it became more about me than we.  
• I love on my kids by telling and showing them how much I love them, but also remind them that God loves them even more.   
• As a believer in Christ I should live my life not like I want, but to endeavor to be more like Christ today than I was yesterday or even 5 minutes ago because that's what I was created for.

This world is brutal no doubt.  But I can find the beauty if only I'd allow God to walk me through it.

Psalm 107:23-32

"Some of you set sail in big ships;you put to sea to do business in faraway ports.

Out at sea you saw God in action,saw his breathtaking ways with the ocean:With a word he called up the wind—an ocean storm, towering waves!

You shot high in the sky, then the bottom dropped out;your hearts were stuck in your throats.

You were spun like a top, you reeled like a drunk,you didn’t know which end was up.

Then you called out to God in your desperate condition;he got you out in the nick of time.

He quieted the wind down to a whisper,put a muzzle on all the big waves.And you were so glad when the storm died down,and he led you safely back to harbor.

So thank God for his marvelous love,for his miracle mercy to the children he loves.

Lift high your praises when the people assemble,shout Hallelujah when the elders meet!"  Psalm 107:23-32 The Message

Wisdom

“But though men can do all these things, 
they don’t know where to find 
wisdom and understanding.  
They not only don’t know how to get it,
but, in fact, 
it is not to be found among the living.

 And God surely knows where it is to be found, 

for he looks throughout the whole earth, 

under all the heavens. 

And this is what he says 
to all mankind: 

‘Look, to fear the Lord is true wisdom; 

to forsake evil is real understanding.’”

Job 28:12-13, 23-24, 28 (TLB)

A Safe Place To Step

All of my life I have been an 'internal loner'. 

I don't know exactly when it happened and to be honest it just recently occurred to me that is what I had become.  I don't think you will find the term internal loner in to many psychology books, but hey I'm not above creating my own language.

Here's Julie's definition of an internal loner - one who mistakenly believes that life is safer journeyed in a solitary fashion.  With no need for assistance or friendship.  In other words, proceed to "enjoy life" (insert sarcasm) with the utmost precaution and on my terms.

Which is hilarious, because God in all of his sweetness and patience has finally gotten through to me that in life and in friendship:

1) I've been missing out on so many things that I had lied to myself about.  Playing it safe, staying in my comfort zone, not getting outside my pond.

• "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”  Deut. 31:6-8 ESV

2) If people knew the real you they would never like or accept you.  Once I began truly believing that I am a child of the Lord Most High, one who is blessed & highly favored a great weight began to be lifted off my shoulders. I began to hold my head higher and dare to look people in the eye.  

• "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him"  Psalm 34:8 NIV

3) Life isn't ever going to change.  To quote Jack Nicholson's Melvin Udall character, "What if this is as good as it gets?"  This may be as good as it gets, but I am highly doubtful this is true.  Life may not change but the choices I make can change.  Praise God he has planned it that way.

• "What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again."  Ecclesiastes 3:15

So what about you sweet one?  Yes you...the one always plays it safe.  Will you step out of your pond and dare to join me?

2013 Becoming 2014

Today is the last day of 2013.  

I will say it again, 

Today is the last day 2013.  

My word for 2013 was CHOICES.  What was your word?  Or have you forgotten it as the days have melted together into the blur called 2013?  I've been reflecting on 2013 and I have to smile.  Choices huh? Even through the challenges and growing pains of 2013 God has shown me more about Himself which in turn allows me to see more about myself.  Let me just say that I am far from being the best at making choices, but I make them none the less.

I love this quote from Neil Peart, "If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice."

But in my choices for 2013 here are just a few of the things I've learned about myself:

• I know much less than I thought I did and I'm okay with admitting that.
• I like iced coffee a little too much.
• I am braver than I knew, but not as brave as I can be.
• God is life and life is full of surprises
• It's okay to cry but more importantly its okay to laugh.
• I've been blessed beyond measure by my husband and children who encourage and believe in me even when I don't believe in myself.
• Being there is more important than empty words of wisdom.
• I still don't like dark chocolate.
• Nothing replaces family.
• I am surrounded by friends who speak truth into my ears even when I don't want to hear it.  Friends that won't give up on me.  Friends that challenge and inspire me like nobodies business.
• I am able to love myself & others, forgive myself & others, and allow God to do the revealing and healing.  Repeat as needed.
•  I am the least of these in desperate need of the ONE who knows me better than I know myself.
• I'm ready for 2014

So what is your word for 2014?  It's not too late you know.  I have to admit I was getting a bit anxious for God to reveal it to me but reveal it he did.  

"For we were saved in this hope, 

but hope that is seen is not hope; 

for why does one still hope for what he sees?

 But if we hope for what we do not see, 

we eagerly wait for it with perseverance"

  Romans 8:24-25 NKJV

My word for 2014 is:

Classified: Help Wanted

"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."  Matthew 6:33

I don't know how it is for you but when reality hits, it is not a love tap but it hits me hard.  I love football so that is the best analogy I can relate to, a bone-jarring, knock the wind out of you, what just happened kind of hit.

These past couple of months have been like that for me.  I am a closer to 50 than I want to be woman.  A woman who has had the blessed honor of being home the past 20 years to raise my kids, help my husband with his painting business and realize my hearts desire is to serve the Lord by mentoring and encouraging women. 

Just like I am not the same woman who left the job market 20 years ago, neither is the world I am re-entering.  I am learning a whole lot about myself.  Enter reality, I am returning to school and attempting to re-enter the job market with as much confidence and grace as I can muster.  There have been many, many humbling moments for me, I will humor you by sharing a few of them:  

• School, well school doesn't even resemble learning as I remember.  I sit in a classroom consisting of computers and other folks just like me trying to absorb and keep up with the ever-changing world. 
•  I've learned my resume is antiquated and that there is a much greater chance of a computer scanning my resume looking for "keywords" than there is a human being ever seeing it.  And on the off-chance a human does look at it, they will scan it for no more 10-seconds and decide whether I am worthy of an interview.  
• I will just be honest here, as much as I rebel instead of embrace the joys of aging, it is a factor in learning. Okay, in my case it's remembering what you have learned.  Even more so as I attempt to be uber creative in my approach of finding a job. No surprise God has that covered as well:

"Even to your old age and gray hairs

I am he,

I am he who will sustain you.

I have made you and I will carry you;

I will sustain you and I will

rescue you."

Isaiah 46:4

I have to constantly and I mean constantly remind myself that God is the one who has the power to open and close doors ( or interviews in my case).

"I will give him the key to the house of David-

the highest position in the royal court.

When he opens doors, no one will

be able to close them;

when he closes doors, no one

will be able to open them."

Isaiah 22:22

As I write these words and share my heart, I don't desire pity but I hope you can relate on some level. Perhaps even chuckle with me.  But more than anything be reminded, just as I have to be reminded:

"I am the lord; there is not other God. 

I have equipped you for battle,

though you don't even know me,

so all the world from east to west

will know there is no other God.

I am the LORD, and there is no other.

I create the light and make the darkness.

I send the good times and bad times.

I, the LORD, am the one who does these things."

Isaiah 45:5-7

 

Truth in the Unknown

T

e

a

c

h

me not only to number my days, but more importantly include you in them.

R

e

m

i

n

d

me of the value of the little moments, to search passionately for truth and joy amid this great uncertainty.

In the blink of an eye

everything that was 

certain and clear

 is hazy and unknown.  

Once again, letting go of what I can see, stepping boldly into the great unknown.  More courageously than yesterday, clinging desperately to the One who holds it all together.